Edging The Divide

Edging — that curious mix of sexual restraint and abandon — is a liminal place in male sexual experience. You’re not here and you’re not there.

You’re not here merely desirous of a sexual experience nor are you there ready to fall into a canyon of cum and finality.

Tantra taught us to have long and mellow sex. You hold back a bit and hang in a dreamy place of mild arousal and sexual kindness. Then there’s masturbating; stroking rushes you to cum and you scrape off the juicy stuff and surf over to a more benign web page.

Edging A Sexual Dare

Edging is something different. Maybe you know it. The edge is the elusive male point-of-no-return — that fabulous but narrow natural bridge over the chasm of your arousal that divides the heaving lungs from the shout and the throbbing cock from the gushing fire hose. You know the sexual spot of your experience, though you’ve maybe never lingered on it very long.

Edging is lingering with no resolution, daring the threshold of cum. Edging is pitching your tent right there, camping for an hour or two or three, and enjoying the view over the chasm of your long, sometimes intense arousal for as long as your desire or constitution allows. Edging has no appointments or destinations. Edging is dangling your feet and feeling what edging brings you.

Guys who dare to unveil the scary curiosities of their sexual arousal are guys who chase the ever-elusive edge of sexual adventure. They learned young that a cum in the sink or sock is a cum that is missing the safari of solo sex. To play for hours on the edge of orgasm is to enjoy the beautiful, frightening, exhilarating place of guy sex — pure, male arousal, raw passion, dizzying guy insanity.

Find Your Edge

Most guys set out for the edge solo, but edging with a partner can be a journey of its own dynamic. Finding your edge solo is incredibly simple but deeply nuanced. There’s one and only one rule. You must resolve to navigate to the edge and no further. Paint yourself a promise, build a tower — anything to say to yourself, “I will hang over the chasm of orgasm but not cum.”

Stroking your penis is a good way to start, but there are dozens of other ways to find stimulation to orgasm. You may find arousal in things like porn, and you may start there, but purists find more profound arousal from the imagination within. However, before you begin, be sure not to bring yourself from zero to ninety and over the edge in 30 seconds. Hey, when it’s over it’s over.

Ease your arousal to near your point of no return — it’s that point when ejaculation is imminently found in the next moments. That is where you look around for a place to settle. Now, you know why we call it the “edge”. Ease back the throttle of stimulation. Be mindful of restraint for the next moments while you renew your pledge to not cum. You have vast edging territory to explore.

Daring The Edge

And here is where you’ll camp — on the edge of the chasm of cum for — who knows? — minutes, hours, days, weeks? Here is where you exclaim, “My god! Why haven’t I been here before?” You will, and after time — your time — your arousal will morph into something unfamiliar. You may stumble upon a whole-body orgasm without ejaculation. You may notice arousal traveling to your extremities.

There is a condition, however. You must stay here, at least for a while. If you’ve never enjoyed the feel of sexual energy moving from here to there or stood naked at the brink of your ejaculation to feel the breezes of sexual thrill rush over your body and soul, this is the place to find it. This is the sexual divide. This is where guy sex becomes sport.

–Featured Photo Flickr / Jingles The Pirate

–Photo Flickr / Paxson Woelber